medical insight

i thought even the surgeon has intestines but i couldn’t help looking when
she bent forward I saw through the gap at the side of her boiler suit her fluoro pink knickers
but her blue balloons of stinging green liquid got stuck in my mind and her squeezaholic dumpity dumper her heart corpuscles zooming with oxygen through chambers and on to her brain
this kept me occupied till i forgot the dead loved one on the trolley but that flash of pink was like one spelling mistake in a giant and otherwise perfect book
it resonated into the real
the faint whiff of life i almost forgot in the months of disease and despair
i knew what’d come next it was ok i could handle the grief loss pain
that i still can’t feel though i try
it’s ten years now and in the mall the opera the office and even at sea
i’m surrounded by organs of efficient desire
that aren’t me